My Query Letter

If you have read my How I Didn’t Get an Agent post, you will know that I got my offer through a twitter pitch event. That might be more helpful than my query letter but here is what I sent to Lake Country Press. 

Dear Brittany,

I have watched Lake Country Press since 2021 and I am always amazed at the fantastic stories you have published (plus, I always fall in love with your amazing covers!). I am honored that you liked my #DVPit pitch, and am looking forward to your consideration of my novel. TITLE REDACTED is an 120,000 word adult fantasy with series potential featuring a bisexual, polyamorous protagonist. In a queer-normative world akin to The Unspoken Name by A.K. Larkwood, TITLE REDACTED depicts a volatile mix of religion, politics, and magic. With an enemies-to-lovers twist on a polyamorous guard/royal trope, three struggling characters are forced to question everything; their morals, their faith, and ultimately their love for each other.

In the sweltering south, Eirlys defends the realm which gave her refuge, even if she might take a few liberties with its handsome prince. She will do anything to save those like her–the shadow-marked that the gods in the cruel north seek to destroy. Using the magic the gods hate against them, she risks sneaking across cursed lands to rescue infants left to die by zealot parents.

Then Eirlys discovers she is the heir apparent to the north, whose gods condemn the very magic in her blood. She wants nothing to do with their barbaric kingdom except to watch it burn, preferably with the match she lights. But Eirlys has tirelessly watched as the south sits idly by while the north continues its terrifying regime. The only way to protect the shadow-marked is to claim her birthright and use the throne to stop the fanatical killing of her kind–even if it means leaving behind her prince and everyone she loves.

Now within the frigid north, Eirlys treads a dangerous path littered with treachery, secrets, and gods who despise having a shadow-marked rule their realm. In order to survive the gods’ wrath, Eirlys must find allies among those who sanction the killing of her kind. When Eirlys meets Price, a dashingly handsome priest, she finds him a willing ally until his faith tears him away. Then a devastating secret about Price’s past and Eirlys’s future draws them back together and directly into the path of the volatile gods. If Eirlys can let go of the anger that’s driven her for so long, she may be able to save the shadow-marked and keep her and Price’s hearts from ending up on the gods’ blade.

I live in wonderful Colorado with my two partners. When I’m not writing with my critique partner,  - - - - , I can be found snowboarding the slopes or curled up with one of my three cats, a glass of whiskey, and a good book. 

Thank you for your time and consideration. As requested, I have attached the first three chapters and the synopsis as a word doc.

A couple of things about this query letter. I ultra personalized my query to LCP. This is probably the longest personalization I ever sent. I rarely personalized my query and if I did it was a very small thing. I do not feel that it affected my request rate but I’ll never truly know.

My word count went from 120k to 114k between this sub and my full request. I don’t think it made a difference when LCP requested my full but perhaps that tightening of my story may have lead to my offer. 

I normally use Tasha Suri as a comp for my writing but in this case, I left it out to focus a little on the characters and things I felt the publisher would enjoy.

As a query letter, I think it’s fine. This is a version of my query letter than went through several rounds on Reddit’s PubTips and a round with a literary agent and an agent assistant.

Hopefully it helps you!